Forgiveness, The Antidote To A Guilty Conscious.

Last night I went to a meditation workshop with a big group of lovely, open minded humans. During the event we all had to stand and recite a declaration of positive affirmations as loud and convincingly as we could. We were then asked to look at the list of phrases and just take note of which one we found hard to say aloud, instantly I knew the one I had an issue with was ‘I grant myself forgiveness and peace’. I couldn’t put my finger on why but i felt a lump in my throat each time we came to that line.

Following the meditation, people were invited to share any experiences or thoughts and as it happens, most of the people there expressed a struggle with that same line. Some saying it came to them during the meditation and they just couldn’t quite sit comfortably with it. One incredible woman shared an emotional & personal story about how she realised she’d been holding onto a feeling of shame since she was 14 years old. It brought most of us to tears, there were nods all around the room and a shared sense of understanding.

It really got me thinking about a subject I’ve wanted to discuss for a while and I keep coming back to…

Guilt.

How many of us spend our lives wrapped up in a feeling of guilt? I don’t mean guilt from committing a heinous crime or stealing 50p from your sister’s bedroom while growing up… I mean the guilt that we put on ourselves every day.

Guilt for not spending enough time with people.

Guilt for not doing enough for the environment.

Guilt for needing a break from your kids.

Guilt for not working enough hours.

Guilt for working too many hours.

Guilt for saying no.

Guilt for being on your phone too much.

Guilt for buying something that you didn’t need.

Guilt for not knowing enough about important stuff.

Guilt for having an unproductive day.

Guilt for not texting people back quickly enough.

Guilt for putting those jobs off you just cannot stand.

Guilt for not calling your grandparents regularly.

Guilt for thinking something judgemental.

Guilt for feeling grumpy.

Guilt for not helping everyone.

Guilt for spending an evening doing NOTHING.

Guilt for binge watching a series.

Guilt for never learning another language.

Guilt for not saving enough money.

Guilt for eating unhealthily at the weekend.

Guilt for drinking too much.

Guilt for waking up late.

Guilt for buying clothes.

Guilt for throwing something out that was broken.

Guilt for still having an item that you borrowed from a neighbour six months ago.

The list is LITERALLY ENDLESS. But I have to cut it off somewhere because you know… work. Did any of those ring true for you? Could you add another bazillion to them? Do you see how ridiculous some of them sound?

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why can’t we just be at peace with the way we’re living and stop tormenting ourselves for all the things we perceive to be wrong. Imagine shifting all of that energy onto something positive! HOW AMAZING WOULD THAT BE?!

It truly does start with forgiveness. You’ve got to forgive yourself for being HUMAN. You are not perfect. No one is. We all mess up, we all get in over our heads and we’re all just trying to get by as best we can. Sometimes that can mean other things fall to the wayside and THAT IS OKAY. I repeat, THAT IS OKAY.

How about we all take some time today and write down the things we are feeling guilty for? If it’s something concerning another person that you can contact, reach out to them. If it’s something concerning a person who is no longer with us, why not write them a little letter? If it’s something that doesn’t concern anyone, that you cannot change and that is out of your control now then FOR GOODNESS SAKE FORGIVE YOURSELF.

Stop carrying a burden of guilt about things that have no relevance or importance in your life today. There is no need for it.

You are a wonderful, weird, messy, clueless, controlling, self-absorbed, funny, intelligent bundle of cells and we wouldn’t have you ANY OTHER WAY. So stop stressing about those teeny tiny or monstrous things that you cannot change and allow your mind some respite. I’m pretty sure we all need that.

Sending you big love & rested thoughts,
Sara xx

P.S. What a perfect prelude to my upcoming holiday 😉 See you on the other side!