Mindset - The Cornerstone Of Learning, Perseverance And Resilience

We have a very special blog for you this week brought to you by our newest instructor, Emily Majury. Emily will be running a 4 week group coaching programme starting Monday 6th July and what better way to introduce her but to learn about how she shifted her mindset. What we love about this story is that Emily was in a very similar position to a lot of us… Going through the motions of work, study & life, without really questioning if she was doing what she LOVED and if not, why? So without further ado, we’ll hand over & let her give you the full run down.

The last few years have been big for me, a time when I realised what it is I want out of life and how I am the only person responsible for making it happen. Most importantly I learned that when you make big life decisions, that may not quite fit with the ‘social norm’, your true friends and family will 100% support you. 

The one thing I had to do to make this happen; Change my Mindset. 

What does that really mean I hear you ask. I think the best way for me to describe what mindset means to me is to start from the very beginning of my journey. 

If you ask anyone I know they will tell you I am not very good at making my mind up and this was no different when I was trying to decide what I wanted to study at university way back when. I visited a number of universities and looked at all sorts of courses ranging from maths to history, I even started writing applications to drama school. Some would probably describe me as confused. I am going to describe myself as intrigued…about a lot of things. 

After going through clearing I ended up studying Accounting and Finance at university. Whilst I wasn’t really sure I wanted to be an accountant, my time at university offered me so much. Not only did it give me the time to get involved in amazing extra curricular activities, one of which took me on a journey to Uganda to set up a farmers cooperative, but it gave me the opportunity to work for a year in the middle of my degree to get a taste of what real adult life was about. 

My placement year led me to an amazing job offer and a career at one of the top financial firms. For most this would be a big win, and, at the time I guess I thought it was too. What I hadn’t realised was that I was just going through the motions. The motions of school, college, university, getting a job, buying a house, getting married….the list goes on. The motions of what we are taught is a normal life, a good life, something to be proud of; when you can finally say you made it. 

I was on a graduate scheme so I was tied in for 3 years and I was sitting my ACA exams. I wanted to sit the all and qualify, I knew the importance of the qualification and what I could learn from it. 

What my first few years of working taught me was resilience. It taught me that you have to be in control of your mind, else you will drown in stress and the impossible feat of trying to please everyone. Don’t get me wrong; that is where I sat for a lot of this time. I had what I can only describe as an irrational fear of disappointing people but what I didn’t realise was that the negative energy that I channeled into my worry and stress was what hindered me from doing a good job. It is when I made mistakes and really the only person I was disappointing was myself. 

Sitting 15 exams is a challenge whilst working (granted I had a few exemptions but still). 

I failed at the last hurdle.

I put myself under so much pressure that I wasted brain power and energy, channelled that into worry, instead of learning what I needed to know to pass. It was this failure (and the earlier failure of not getting into uni) that started to make me realise that it really didn’t matter if you didn’t always quite make it. It was these moments of failure that led me to grow, that made me stronger and that started to reduce the stress that I put myself under. 

It was then that my mindset started to change. 

Three years of university, three years of working long hours (c. 14 hours days for 5 months of the year) AND taking exams, I decided I needed to get out, I needed something else from life. 

At this point I had travelled a few times. I had been on a few extended trips; 2 months in the US after placement year (shout out to my girl Kiera), trips to Europe with my long life school friends and a long trip to Asia to visit my bestie whilst she was living it up in Singapore. I knew that I loved it and that I wanted to see as much of the world as I could. Where I work we are lucky enough to be able to apply for career breaks, so that is exactly what I did. I applied and took 6 months off to see the world. 

Now I won’t bore you with all the details, and if you are a regular reader of my blog you will already know all of the amazing and wonderful opportunities and experiences I was lucky enough to encounter on my travels, however, I will talk a little about what taking time out did for me. 

It made me realise that I am a mentally stronger than I thought I was. That I am very open minded. That I enjoy a lot of different things. That I could continue to do everything I enjoy in daily life when on the move. That I didn’t need a routine to make me happy. That I could feel comfortable in my own skin. That I love meeting new people and learning about their stories. That I want to spend as much of my life outside as I can. That it was ok to take a break sometimes. That happiness comes from within. 

I could write a list that would go on forever, but the point is that the break gave me time with myself and my mind to think; to forget about the life that I had been told for so long was the life we are supposed to follow and strive for and really think about what it was I wanted, what I enjoy and what was going to give me purpose in life. 

Writing my blog whilst I was away was something I wanted to do because I enjoyed and it is something I want to do more of so that was the first baby step I took to stepping outside of my comfort zone and doing something for me. When I returned from travelling I decided I didn’t want to waste anymore time. I had changed job role which allowed me more time after work to do what I wanted to do. 

I mean I did hit a brick wall on day one back at work when I learned that I was being sent on secondment to another town AGAIN but I pushed back, I agreed to try it and really step up out of my comfort zone because I knew I could make it work for me. 

Since coming home from travelling I have taken small steps towards doing things I have always wanted to do, things that just seem to make sense to me as I move through my journey. 

I love fitness, I love helping people. I decided I would take a leap and do my level 2 instructor course. For some reason I decided I would learn to teach spin alongside it. I couldn’t tell you that I ever thought I would teach spin, but when I sit and think about it, it makes a lot of sense. I love music and I love keeping fit. In spin you move to the beat, the music is what drives and motivates you. A while back I learned from a very special lady Becki Rabin that you can’t connect the dots going forward but you can connect the dots going back. What I mean by this is that whilst you don’t always understand the impact a move is going to have on your future and you are not sure if it makes sense, when you look back your story connects with dots in time.

From starting and passing my course I have jumped at every opportunity I could take. I started teaching with a friend, I volunteered at a yoga studio which led to me getting a job at an amazing studio near my house, I have decided to do my Level 3 PT course, I have started putting business ideas together and figuring out how I am going to make the life I want possible. 

I want to be able to work from wherever I want to be that day, I want to be able to help people achieve their potential, I don’t want to to look back to yesterday and think ‘I could have done more’ and I certainly will not regret anything. 

What I will say is that there have been hurdles at every step of this process, it is not easy to be learning continuously, to push yourself out of your comfort zone day after day but it is so good for the soul. I have had days when classes don’t give you any energy, when the microphone doesn’t work, when you don’t perform to your best and when you question yourself ‘am I really good enough to do this’ BUT I can honestly say I take negative comments now and I use them to drive me further towards what I want because I finally believe that I am the only one who can make things happen for me. 

Alongside all of this I have taken up the very big opportunity of working for a social marketing company. Honestly, I never really understood what this meant, I wasn’t interested and I had written it off. One day I decided I had nothing to loose. I took a leap of faith and this week I promoted to the first level. Again it made no logical sense to me but it felt like the right thing to do at the time and I can only say it has proved to be just that. It was the idea of having a passive income that I had never really thought of before but now it make so much sense. 

Holding down a full time job and doing all of what I have just described above is not easy, it is time consuming but I can honestly say I have NEVER BEEN HAPPIER than I am at the moment. I am finally channelling my energy into the things I love, the things I enjoy and it has paid off. 

I am not an overly spiritual person but, I do believe what you give to the universe you get out. When you have a positive mindset you will get positive results. 

I still make sure I take time to go out with my friends when I need it, I go to the gym, I do yoga, I meditate, I finally have learnt how to do things when they feel right, when I need them and not doing things because someone has told me to/because I think that it what is expected of me. 

I think sometimes we get so caught up in the ‘box’ that we are in that we forget to step outside and reflect. One part of my journey that I am so grateful for is my Life Coach. Big shoutout to Sarah. She is beyond incredible. She has made me further change my mindset and the way it think about things in the last few weeks and she inspires me every day to keep chasing my dreams and working for them. She gives me platform to be a better version of myself and find those things in life that I really want and go for them. If you ever think you with want a Life Coach - look no further, I will hook you up!!! She is always reminding me to get out of the box. 

Going back to what I wanted to talk about ‘changing my mindset’. What I have learnt is that it has to come from within. You have to want to change, you have to be willing to make the effort and learn from what life throws at you. I want you to use my story to inspire you, to motivate you, to guide you to believe that you can do the same. You can do it. 

I normally leave you with a quote but today leave you with a short poem I wrote when I was walking to work the other morning; 

You walk, one foot in front of the other

through a sea of bodies

Each on a journey; a Mission

To be somewhere.

You weave between them like salmon swimming upstream;

going anywhere

your story has yet to be told. 

Find out more about Emily’s INCREDIBLE life coaching course here. And don’t forget to give her a follow on Instagram & say hi!